Friday, April 12, 2013

DESPAIR OF A FRIAR

1980 Topps #557 Mark Lee
JUST DISAPPEAR... DRINK SOME BATTERY ACID... WASH IT DOWN WITH ANTI-FREEZE AND CHASE IT WITH SOME CLOROX...

OHHHHHHHH, WHAT AN UNKIND WORLD. ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES. MY WIFE, GONE. UNPLANNED AIRPLANE GLUE ACCIDENT. THE HOUSE NEEDS A NEW COAT OF PAINT, BUT HOW DO YOU GET IN ALL THEM CRACKS? MY PRESCRIPTION'S CHANGED AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GET ONE OF THOSE MAGNETIC FISHING GAMES, SO MAYBE I'LL JUST GET MY BLOOD PRESSURE CHECKED FOR TWENTY-FIVE CENTS.

THE TEAR IN THE COUCH COVER ISN'T GOING TO HIDE ITSELF, SO SOME NEW PILLOWS WILL DO JUST FINE. THURSDAY NIGHT WE FLY OUT TO SHEA AND I DON'T HAVE A ROOMMATE, SO I THINK I'LL JUST JERK IT INTO A DIXIE CUP IF I CAN MAKE IT UP PAST TEN. IF THE BATHROOM HAS A HAIR DRYER I GET TO HAVE A KIND OF WARM ENGLISH MUFFIN, BUT IF NOT I CAN JUST SACK ALONG AND MAKE PRETEND WITH A PEANUT BUTTER BREAD-WICH.

YOU EVER GET A CREASE IN A PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU JUST CAN'T GET OUT, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU IRON IT? I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO A FEW MOMENTS WHERE I CAN FORGET EVERYTHING AND JUST NOT BE THE GUY WITH THE LOUD KID AND THE UNTUCKED SHIRT FOR ONCE. MY STRAW FELL ON THE FLOOR AND THERE AREN'T ANY MORE IN THE DISPENSER NO MATTER WHAT THE GIRL AT THE COUNTER SAYS. FOR A CHAIN RESTAURANT THIS IS PRETTY GOOD, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY'LL PUT ONE IN MY TOWN, EVEN IF I WRITE A LETTER.











WHEW, DID IT JUST GET DARK IN HERE OR WAS THAT MY TRANSITIONS?