Saturday, November 16, 2013

ADVANCED GAME THEORY

1978 Topps #15 Tony Perez

I JUST DON'T GET IT. I MEAN, IT BOGGLES THE MIND. WHY, AFTER ALL THAT TOIL, WOULD YOU THROW EVERYTHING AWAY FOR THOSE COOKIES ON THE HIGH SHELF? YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM, BUT WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU GO OVER TO THE TABLE, PULL OUT THE CHAIR, DRAG IT OVER TO THE COUNTER, AND UP YOU GO. WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THAT? YOU JUST RESCUED THAT CAT OUT OF THE TREE. BOOM, LADDER AHEAD LIKE 60 SPACES. AND THIS IS AFTER ALL THE TIME YOU SPENT BACKTRACKING AFTER CATCHING COLD BECAUSE YOU REFUSED TO WEAR YOUR BOOTS OUTSIDE ON A COLD, WET WINTER DAY. IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S A SURPRISE, PEOPLE. LOOK AROUND, BIG RED ONES EVERYWHERE.

AND TELL ME THIS: TWO SMALL STEPS AWAY FROM YOUR GOAL, AND YOU'RE GONNA ACT THE FOOL AND PULL A CAT'S TAIL? HELLLLLL NO. YET IT HAPPENS TIME AND TIME AGAIN. YOU'D THINK PEOPLE WOULD LEARN: MOW THE LAWN, YOU GET TO GO TO THE FUCKING CIRCUS. EAT THE WHOLE BOX OF CHOCOLATES, BIG-ASS TUMMY ACHE. STRAIGHT FOOLISH.



















TO BE HONEST, I DON'T THINK ANYONE TAKES THIS SHIT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH.